Raising the Perfect Supervillain

A CONFESSION: I have not actually read the full text of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendations on screen time for children. I’ve never felt the need, because from the moment my son could lift his head, I’ve received enough dire caution from doctors, teachers, and urbanMamas posts (read aloud to me by my loving wife) to know that it probably says something like this:

Do not allow a screen of any kind within a quarter mile of your child. It’s been medically proven that every supervillain’s origin story begins with exposure to video screens before the age of two. (Yes, that includes sports.) (Yes, that includes Real Housewives reunions.) (And no, you can’t just “mute the commercials.”)

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