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	<title>Swell Done &#124; Sloan Schang</title>
	<link>http://swelldone.com</link>
	<description></description>
	<lastBuildDate>Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:45:42 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Other Shopping Days of the Week</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Traveling Salesman Tuesday “I will trade you a wine chiller or a VERY CLEAN down comforter for the LCD you are selling on Craigslist, let me know ASAP if you are interested” Wednesday Vending Machine Thursday Bidding War Friday Full Price Saturday Pawnshop Sunday]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/11/other-shopping-days/</link>
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		<title>What Must Actually Happen When I Press the CLOSE DOOR Button in My Building&#8217;s Elevator</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A panel that says “Asshole in Elevator 3” is illuminated at the security desk. A claims adjuster conducting a very sensitive meeting on the 12th floor stands up and says, “Before we go any further, I’m just going to close this door.” The building’s window washer receives a mild electric shock, causing him to momentarily [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/11/what-must-actually-happen-when-i-press-the-close-door-button-in-my-buildings-elevator/</link>
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		<title>Fallback</title>
		<description><![CDATA[We were away from everything when the clocks changed. On Friday and Saturday everyone talked about it a lot, what was going to happen with the time while we were out here in the wilderness. We decided that because we were away from everything, we could change the clocks whenever we wanted. Three would be [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/11/fallback/</link>
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		<title>Messages from Our Dear Commissioner, Who Is A Perfect Incarnation of the Appearance that a Fantasy Football Commissioner Should Have</title>
		<description><![CDATA[From: League Commissioner, Guiding Ray of the Sun Subject: Let us adjust the scoring settings this year Unification of all teams into a collective that is neutral, peaceful and majestic, should be the primary objective of all participants in the league this year. Following unification, teams will achieve true independence by contributing all fantasy points [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/10/messages-from-our-dear-commissioner-who-is-a-perfect-incarnation-of-the-appearance-that-a-fantasy-football-commissioner-should-have/</link>
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		<title>Jimmy Buffettaglione&#8217;s Greatest Hits</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A Pasta Fazool in Atlantic City He Got A Good Deal on a Flight to Naples Stuffed Shells Son of a Son of a Mamaluke Look At This Boombots Dressed Like A Pirate Limoncelloville O Maron, Monday Again Change Your Attitude Right Now You Gabbadost Why Don’t We Partake of the Grape (Salut) Peek-A-Boo Chest [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/09/jimmy-buffettaglion-greatest-hits/</link>
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		<title>She Crossed Her Fingers And Walked Right Through Me</title>
		<description><![CDATA[We&#8217;re floating dreamily in that creaky, weathered hammock from the Army Navy surplus store when she looks at me and says, “I want to have your baby.” I laugh uncomfortably and pretend to have a burning itch on my face so I can relax my smile a little. I linger on it too long and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/08/she-crossed-her-fingers-and-walked-right-through-me/</link>
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		<title>Someone In My Neighborhood Really Wants to Return The Ferret They Found</title>
		<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/07/somone-in-my-neighborhood-really-wants-to-return-the-ferret-they-found/</link>
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		<title>Alternative Names for &#8220;Bullet Points&#8221;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Baby thought buttons Li&#8217;l notions Discussion pebbles Blunt buddies Butterfly kisses Paragraph assassins Shorties Specific pimples Gist nuggets Fact dollops Meat shots Power droppings Briefberries This isn&#8217;t how I imagined my life turning out points]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/07/alternative-names-for-bullet-points/</link>
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		<title>Building A Mystery</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Step One Drive to your local big box hardware store. You are going to need a huge car, or a medium car with a trailer of some sort. A flatbed is fine, but take lots of straps to strap things down. Time is of the essence, but don’t go any faster than the speed limit [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/07/building-a-mystery/</link>
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		<title>A Critical Review of the Art Included with an Adult Novelty Comb</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Artist: Unknown Date Created: Unknown Origin: China Description: This artwork was attached to a plastic bag that contained a folding pocket comb.  The piece is printed with color ink on a bi-fold canvas of thin cardboard, six inches wide and four inches tall when unfolded.  There is printing on only one side, which consists of [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://swelldone.com/2011/07/design-critique-folding-pocket-comb-packaging/</link>
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