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Less Impressive Butterfly Effects

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Kentucky, a “check engine” light comes on in Los Angeles.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Southern California, an ultimate Frisbee pass sails over the head of a student at the University of Ohio.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Columbus, a child in New Orleans is traumatized by what she sees in a portable toilet at a waterfront jazz festival.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Louisiana, a young woman at Rutgers finally decides to change her major from biology to pre-law.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in New Jersey, a participant on a conference call in D.C. is asked to repeat a rather long question that was disrupted by a poor connection.

If a butterfly flaps its wings anywhere in the Mid-Atlantic, a German tourist in Miami feels a cool breeze evaporating seawater from his tanned chest.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Florida, a housewife in Oklahoma is moved to tears by what she sees on an episode of TLC’s “Extreme Couponing.”

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Tulsa, a rummage sale flyer falls off the bulletin board of a church also in Tulsa.

If a butterfly flaps its wings anywhere else in Oklahoma, a best man giving a speech in upstate New York goes a little too far with a sexy joke.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Albany, a loose shingle falls off a roof in Dallas.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Texas, a human resources manager in Colorado Springs makes a regrettable purchase at Ross Dress for Less.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Colorado, a teenager on a field trip to a San Francisco museum is actually a little inspired by an exhibit that consists of nothing but a dirty shower curtain lying on the floor.

If a butterfly flaps its wings in Northern California, a border patrol agent stationed near Nogales, New Mexico nods off and misses absolutely nothing.

2 Responses to “Less Impressive Butterfly Effects”

  1. Mark Russell

    Excellent! You are the master of obscure imagination.

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