Roles I Imagine I am Auditioning for When I Shop at Whole Foods
Guy Struggling with Soup Lid
Man Waiting Impatiently for Carob
Guy Who Needs Bathroom Code
Husband Curious About Starfruit
Man Sheepishly Taking the Last of the Bulk Spinach
Know-It-All Dismissing “Nutrition” Bars
Hesitant Sushi Picker
Office Worker Digging for the Cheapest Piece of Parmigiano Reggiano
Man Disturbed by Total Bill
This is published online at McSweeney’s.
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