The Most Recent Days of Rocco Bossy


Rocco Bossy sits down next to Thomas at a small booth in the back of the restaurant where they both work. It’s their lunch break, even though it’s technically dinner. Rocco doesn’t really like Thomas, so he just says something about Burning Man.

-There’s this thing called Burning Man.
-Everyone knows what Burning Man is.
-I don’t think that’s true.
-It is. And everyone also knows that last year, The Man was accidentally burned early.
-Early Man.
-That’s right.

Thomas goes to Burning Man every year, but Rocco’s never gone. He’s kind of repulsed by it.

-Does everyone there call him “The Man?”
-Yes, most people do.
-So does that make it an anti-establishment thing? Burning “the man?”
-No, it’s just a nickname.
-They should consider a different nickname. I’m pretty sure “The Man” is taken.
-It’s contextual.
-So’s everything.
-You should come with me next year. I can ask Flame Lizard if you can join our community.
-No thanks.
-We’re going to have a great concept next year.
-No thanks.
-You don’t know what you’re missing.
-No thanks.

The Day Before Yesterday

There’s a guy in Rocco’s living room who looks familiar. He’s probably a friend of Rocco’s roommate Steve. He’s holding a yellow flyer when Rocco walks into the room.

-There’s a place downtown that’s giving three dollar haircuts to people over 70. Regular price is six dollars.
-I would pay six dollars for a haircut.

Rocco really would, because he usually pays ten. This guy has a coupon though that changes the regular price from six dollars to five dollars.

-I have a coupon though that changes the regular price from six dollars to five dollars.
-I would rather pay the six dollars than use a coupon for a haircut. Six dollars isn’t much money.
-I’m going to use the coupon.
-I’ll be embarrassed for you.
-I need to cut the coupon out, though.
-I’m sure you can just show the flyer to the barber.
-Do you guys have some scissors?

And Three Days Ago

Rocco is at Carla’s place, they’re on the sofa, legs intertwined, enjoying some cable. Rocco’s got Carla’s compact mirror and he’s looking at his teeth.

-How about this flossing?
-You mean flossing teeth?
-Yeah. It’s great.
-Let’s call for pizza.

This thing with Carla could end at any moment, it feels tenuous, not dangerous, temporary, not difficult. They’re in bed after pizza when Rocco delivers the bad news.

-I’m working a double tomorrow.
-This is a real problam.
-Did you just say “problam?”
-So what, that’s how I pronounce it. Problam.
-Since when?
-Since forevoo.

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