Titans of Textile
We hate The Gap but require their blue jeans and, occasionally, a jacket from the Spring Collection. You and I are not alone in this, yet we feel so alone whenever we shop there. I'm not sure what you're doing about it, but to make myself feel better I've resolved to wind up the sales clerks on my yearly visits.
This year:
This year:
CHAD
(peppy)
You finding everything ok?
ME
Yes, I'm only here for jeans.
CHAD
Let me know if you need any help!
ME
Ok. Why do they call this place "The Gap?"
CHAD
Hmmmmm. As opposed to what?
ME
Not Gap.
CHAD
(strokes chin)
Like where did the name come from?
ME
Exactly.
CHAD
(jazz hands)
Oh, jeeeeeeeeeeeeez, I don't know! I've never been asked that before!
ME
Maybe it's on the internet. Are you guys on the internet?
CHAD
Yep! Gap dot com.
ME
The Gap dot com?
CHAD
No, just Gap! Gap dot com.
ME
Ugh, I won't remember that. They should print it on the bags.
CHAD
(happy to know the answer to this one)
It is on the bags!
ME
Hooray!
CHAD
Hooray! Ha ha ha ha!
(peppy)
You finding everything ok?
ME
Yes, I'm only here for jeans.
CHAD
Let me know if you need any help!
ME
Ok. Why do they call this place "The Gap?"
CHAD
Hmmmmm. As opposed to what?
ME
Not Gap.
CHAD
(strokes chin)
Like where did the name come from?
ME
Exactly.
CHAD
(jazz hands)
Oh, jeeeeeeeeeeeeez, I don't know! I've never been asked that before!
ME
Maybe it's on the internet. Are you guys on the internet?
CHAD
Yep! Gap dot com.
ME
The Gap dot com?
CHAD
No, just Gap! Gap dot com.
ME
Ugh, I won't remember that. They should print it on the bags.
CHAD
(happy to know the answer to this one)
It is on the bags!
ME
Hooray!
CHAD
Hooray! Ha ha ha ha!
Discussion:
between every generation is a gap, and a need for khakis.
You bastard. I thought we connected.
They have a Gap online?
Oh, if only this was true. Is it? Did this really happen, Sloan?
BTW, do you think 'wind up' could be considered one word? Like a pitcher's wind-up? ("Heeere's the wind-up." Does that work?) If so, I think it's an antilogy. Like, it's both the beginning (winding up to begin something) and an ending ("We're winding up the case now..."). If it's two words, I think it technically doesn't count.
So, maybe see you on Sunday for dinner with Dan? Remind me to tell you about ultimate frisbee and roller derby. Whew.
Sweet-Wheat never wore Khakis...he wore Slacks!
Pleated slacks from Penny's.
I bought them for him after he told me I was hot (between bites of TastyKake Butterscotch Krimpets, of course)!
www.donaldjamescutzmeat.org is the funniest friggin' thing I've come up with...this week.
C. Sellers, are you questioning the authenticity of my adventures? This is the real deal, my friend.
As best I can tell, most legitimate, mainstream sources won't allow the use of wind-up without a hyphen. There seems to be some support from the Princeton WordNet for a non-hyphenated windup, especially when you use it as an adjective - "windup toy." I'm witcha on the antilogy though. I just bought the Bob Dylan Antilogy and I LOVE IT. Sunday!
I just wound up (no hyphen thankyouverymuchgradeschoolteachers) a unit on boycotts that I teach impressionable seniors and you'll be happy to know that GAP was the first company to allow cameras in their sweatshops. It's a start. This is neither here nor there but no more random than roller derby.
WE ARE NOT ROLLER DERBY AND NEVER WILL BE ROLLER DERBY. Wind that up, biotch.
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