More Mildly Upsetting Fortune-Cookie Messages


"Your birthday is difficult to remember"

"The Starbucks barista you've been flirting with finds you shrill and unoriginal"

"Your new mail carrier is moderately dyslexic and dissatisfied with her occupation"

"Those yogurt containers are not actually recyclable"

"Your tattoo is confusing and inappropriate for your age"

"Your dog sometimes chews on things important to others"

"Several members of your yoga class have discussed your loose-fitting short pants"

{The original mildly upsetting messages ran here, once upon a time}

Discussion:

Anonymous zzzzzz:

I continue to see strange coincidences/similarities in things. Mere days ago, I recieved this in an email from a friend. I think it qualifies for at least mildly upsetting.

April 27, 2005  
Anonymous chang:

That photo is fantastic.

April 27, 2005  
Anonymous kate:

How about: "Don't bother. It doesn't matter anyway and besides, no one would even notice."

Or: "Put it back. It wasn't yours in the first place."

Maybe: "They're right about you."

Even: "Try it. What have you got to lose? I mean, really."

I'd like to trade my teaching job for one making fortune-cookie messages. As long as they only go to redstaters or hypochondriacs.

April 28, 2005  

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