Hard Lessons Learned by Arnold of Television's "Diff'rent Strokes"

We all loved bearing witness to Arnold Drummond's hijinx, before he grew up and bought a condo in Crazy Town. But did you see ever through your Otter Pop sugar buzz to the real subtext of those old episodes? Not likely.

Episode 0107: When Arnold is in trouble for putting his goldfish in Mr. Drummond's hot tub, Willis insists that it's wrong to convict him without a trial. The whole family, with Mrs. Garrett as judge, comes up with an important verdict and Arnold learns the hard way that the American judicial system is hopelessly biased against African American males.

Episode 0208: Willis' screwy version of the facts of life leaves Arnold with misconceptions about the birds and the bees and Mr. Drummond on tenterhooks. Arnold repeats his "knowledge" to a neighbor's daughter, but the girl's mother is not amused. Arnold learns the hard way that America is largely populated by religious zealots whose misguided belief systems make it nearly impossible to talk openly about sex.

Episode 0423: A famed choreographer encourages Arnold to learn ballet, but his youthful dancing days could be numbered when Willis' taunting remarks convince Arnold to drop out of an upcoming recital. Arnold learns the hard way that his brother's a dick.

Episode 0409: Arnold and Willis go on a hunger strike to save a historic landmark when they learn construction by Mr. Drummond's company may destroy what could be an ancient Indian burial ground. Arnold learns the hard way that ancient Indian burial grounds won’t be formally protected by the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act for another 8 years. Mr. Drummond can in fact quote, do whatever he goddamn wants with his land, unquote.

Episode 0501: Arnold is determined to defeat brother Willis at his own game and dethrone him as local video game champ, but in doing so Arnold's passion becomes a destructive "addiction" that could have serious consequences. Arnold learns the hard way that the symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome usually start gradually but can linger for months, with frequent burning, tingling, or itching numbness in the palm of the hand and the fingers, especially the important thumb, index and middle fingers.

Episode 0611: Arnold is disappointed to discover that his favorite teacher moonlights as a cocktail waitress, but he's stunned when he learns why she has to work the second job. Arnold learns the hard way that he will be oppressed by student loan payments for most of his adult life.

Episode 0111: A lonely Arnold comes up with a method of gaining his family's attention. Unfortunately his plan works a little too well; he ends up with everyone's attention, including the family doctor. Arnold learns the hard way that there’s nothing funny about rickets.