Kids These Days!

Summer's fast approaching, and while I will happily welcome the assorted blisters and creepy ice cream mini-vans of July, I will miss riding the bus in the company of irreverant people half my age. Conversations overheard on public transportation are more entertaining than anything on my iPod and well worth the occasional underfoot puddle of Yoo-hoo. Spring break, one day old, has already given me a taste of how boring the bus is without little people, so before the school year leaves us completely, a few of the year's best bus and train quotes:

Bald Kid: The best part about the shaved head is that ALL the girls wanna touch it.
Hairy Kid: Yeah, but you're bald.

Kid 1: Daaaaaaaaaamn. That skater kid is ugly.
Kid 2: Yeah.
Kid 1: Head looks like a chicken nugget.
Kid 2: Damn.
{He says what we're all thinking.}

"It's kind of like prison, except all the kids in your cell block just got finished shopping at the mall."
{Angry 'alterna-girl' describes the experience at her preppy downtown school}

Kid 1: Remember that one kid, Speedy? He played running back.
Kid 2: No.
Kid 1: C'mon, yeah you do. Used to run all over cats up and down the field.
Kid 2: mmmmmmm...
Kid 1: Yeah, yeah, c'mon. He used to be all up in people's faces, like: 'I'm speedy, BITCH!'
Kid 2: (silence)
Kid 1: Well anyway, he was fast.

Girl: I need some coffee or something.
Boy: It's bad for you. Gonna stunt your growth and make you short. Short like me.
Girl: Short "down there."
{Every kid on the bus howls in unison.}

Girl: I wanna see a movie. Let's go Sunday.
Boy: Can't.
Girl: (clucks tongue) why?
Boy: Rabies shots.
Girl: Nuh uh! For real?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'm confused.
Boy: I know.

"Reach Out and Fuck Someone."
{Button pinned to the jacket of a high school sophmore}